


Day In and Day Out

by herefortheparty



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 365 Days Movie, 365 Dni (Book/Movie), 365 days, F/M, Lydia Went to Devenford, Mafia AU, My First AO3 Post, My First Smut, Slightly Void Stiles Personality, Slow Burn Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski Loves Lydia Martin, Stydia, This Is My First Fic Here So Be Nice To Me, Time Jump, post college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26021761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herefortheparty/pseuds/herefortheparty
Summary: "You're staring." It was husky and maybe a little devilish and he tipped his eyes away from her, the grin maybe on his lips still, she couldn't tell.If she still had her drink in her hand, she would have choked on it. "What?""You're staring," he repeated, playfully, turning his whole body to face her. "You can come closer if you like."
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Lydia Martin/Original Male Character(s), Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 22
Kudos: 42





	1. Raves and Mixed Drinks

"Jesus Christ," he whispered out as her red hair passed in front of him. The road was narrow with cars parked along its sides and the vibrations from Sinema reached them, even when they were still a few feet away.

She turned slightly, a smirk on her lips. "What? Like what you see?"

Nathan smiled and reached for her hand. The strip leading to Sinema broadened as the white lights reached their footsteps. Crowds of people stood around the opening - some in the line and some in large groups, laughing and tending to their drunk friends.

Most women had short, skimpy dresses, all reflective and silky. The makeup was heavy and the hair looked even heavier with pounds of hairspray. Some pants on the men were ripped and some leather. Some men didn't have pants at all, just tight neon spanx.

Lydia took in the surroundings as Nathan weaved the two of them effortlessly to the front of the line. A few women scowled at her, but she didn't focus on it. A few of the men winked at her and she smiled, again not entertaining it.

The music thumped against her skin as they neared the door. A loud moan rung out as they passed a couple humping against the brick wall. The girl's brown extensions were longer than her actual hair and her pink tiger print skirt was pushed flush against her stomach. The man was grinding against her, clothed all except for his shirt and shoes.

Lydia heard the girl whimper with lust as the man threw her shirt to the side. Lydia's eyes grew at how open the couple was and tore her eyes away when Nathan mentioned it.

"We could do that," Nathan started as he pulled her in front of him, continuing to walk towards the large club entrance. His mouth pushed against her ear and he smiled. "I could pin you against this wall. It would be hot."

Lydia scoffed lazily and said nothing. She should probably be thinking of her own debauchery, but the only thought in her mind was how cold that girl must have been against the bricks.

A fog hit them instantly as they finally crossed into Sinema. A thick scent of liquor was in the air and the clicking of her heels could barely be heard over the intensity of the music. Weed was in the air somewhere in the building, as well as something else, but Lydia wasn't sure what it was.

The tri-monthly rave was all Nathan had been talking about for weeks. He'd mention it sometimes when she would get home from work and then more frequently as they saw Sinema in passing.

" _Sure_ ," Lydia had finally said and now here they were, surrounded with bar patrons falling over themselves, with and without neon paint splattered on them.

"You want your usual?" Nathan's mouth pressed to her ear again as he hugged her close. Her eyes traced the bar to see varieties of decorative bottles. Not a lot of labels were shown, but she assumed that anything that she could have wanted, they had on one of the long three shelves above the bar.

"Something with Reyka in it is fine," she felt like she was yelling back at him over the music. "Put some cherries in whatever it is."

He kissed her temple and let her go, urging her gently towards the dance floor. "Why don't you go through and find us a table upstairs? I'll find you when I'm done."

She grinned and tossed her red hair over her shoulder. "Don't keep me waiting too long."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he smirked, turning away from her to get behind the horde of ravers awaiting their already ordered drinks.

The upstairs of Sinema was a crowded, dimly lit area that allowed only a handful of tables on the floor. Much different than the main level, a large cutout hovered over the highly fueled dance floor, where partygoers could over look. The floor-to-ceiling windows were open tonight, and the cold October breeze sauntered in, clinging to Lydia's bare arms. Her thin, ruffled bell bottom pants flowed in the air.

Lydia glanced through the glossy partition that lined the walled cut out and spotted Nathan at the front of the bar. He was leaned over it casually, talking with his hands like he normally did.

She has been dating him for almost two years - a month and a half away from today, in fact - and she can't remember a day where he hasn't talked with his hands. The day she stepped foot onto the Massachusetts Institute of Technology campus, he had captivated her. He was her student tour guide for her welcome group and was easily the most energetic person she had ever met. He was smiling and laughing non-stop, it was impossible to not gravitate toward him. It was only after they graduated - and three years after that - for him to finally see her as something other than a girl in one of his physics lab groups.

"So, I got as many cherries as he would give me," Nathan was yelling over the music now as he finally made it through the crowd and up the steps. "And then he asked for my number."

Lydia laughed, sipping the mix of Reyka, lemon, and lime. She should have suspected that he would be just as captivating to everyone else in Beacon Hills. The music was booming through the speakers on the ground floor after a few minutes and Nathan looked over the partition.

"Hey, let's go down there and dance," he was already standing, abandoning his half empty drink on the table. "I've got some energy to burn."

"I'll finish my drink," Lydia was coy and slipped the tiny red straw in her mouth, biting down slightly. "I won't stop you."

She wanted him to stay, but he was already back-stepping towards the stairs. "Find me when you get down there," he winked, "I'd love to get my hands on you."

"Of course," she smirked.

**

Lydia found the upstairs balcony of Sinema much less thunderous than the inside. There was still a faint pulse of music surging through the air, but it was easier to think.

She sat down on one of the few metal benches, welcoming the chill through her thin clothes. Her mind wondered then, curious to how Sinema had grown so much in only five years of her being gone.

She remembered how she, as well as her other former Devenford Prep classmates, would frequent this club every other weekend and drink until they couldn't see straight. Vividly, a memory of her leaning over the wobbly bar of the balcony just to impress Brett Talbot and Lorilee Rohr came up in her mind and she grimaced. _That_ bar stained her newest Burberry sweater, and she would forever deem _this_ bar a shithole.

Lydia scoffed. Yet, somehow this place stayed running, even with Paul still owning and serving underage drinks and this place looking like it could go up in flames any minute.

She sipped the last bit of her mixer when a particularly loud backfire of a car exhaust pulled her attention. A gross, dark yellow truck drove by Sinema and Lydia thought back to the time she allowed Riven Moss, a senior to her freshman status at Devenford, to fill her up in his gross truck, not caring at all when his car made those loud sounds. She remembered slapping his hands away at the thought of someone glancing into his not-at-all dark windows to his beat up Chevy to see her tits almost falling out of her uniform.

Maybe Riven went to college. Maybe he went into the army. Maybe he was here tonight, spiking young girls drinks.

Lydia pulled a cigarette from her bra, now fumbling for a lighter that she was sure was somewhere, wasn't it? She began patting herself down and _damn it_ because no, she had left it in Nathan's car. Maybe Nathan had an extra one inside. She considered trecking through the multitudes of people to find him, but gave up before she began.

Just when she was putting the cigarette back into her bra, an amused, quite voice spoke out, "Do you need a light?"

Lydia froze, searching around her. When did someone else come out here? She turned to see a tall, tan man with dark eyes gazing intently at her, with the same be-lightened expression as she had heard in his voice.

"Yes, thank you," she mumbled, her eyes not leaving his. She wasn't sure if he heard her over the music or not.

He lifted his hand to her mouth, offering the flame. She could feel his eyes burning into her when she looked away to light her cigarette.

"No problem," he said easily, putting the lighter into his left chest pocket.

Lydia wouldn't stare, but it was hard not to notice how immaculately dressed he was, with expensive shoes and an outfit that she had swore she'd seen at Nordstrom a few weeks ago. And even though she would not stare, she did find herself lingering slightly at the way his shirt had small cufflinks at the end of it and how his overcoat was impressively tailored to his figure.

His hair wasn't dripping with gel, but it was fixed neatly and didn't falter easily against the winter breeze. She realized suddenly that he had dimples partnered with his grin.

"You're staring." It was husky and maybe a little devilish and he tipped his eyes away from her, the grin maybe on his lips still, she couldn't tell.

No, he had a tight smile and it was irritatingly smug. He glanced up at her again and tilted his head. "Do you like what you see?" It wasn't really a question, but more of a matter-of-fact thing that seemingly slapped her across the face. Lydia was surprised that this man would be so forward without knowing her.

If she still had anything left in her cup, she would have choked on it. "What?"

"You're staring," he repeated, playfully, turning his whole body to face her. "You can come closer if you like."

"Baby, are you out here?" They were interrupted by a rustle by the balcony door and Nathan emerged, sweaty and swaying happily, clearly having a few more drinks while Lydia was outside. "You never came back to dance with me!"

"There you are, I was looking for you!" The lie rolled off her tongue and fake glee showed in her voice as she tossed the quarter smoked cigarette over the balcony edge.

She brushed past the statuesque man and toward the door. She could feel the man's eyes seeping into her as she crossed back into Sinema, Nathan groping slothfully at her hips as the music hit them fullblast.


	2. Marello's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sauvignon.  
> That's it.  
> That's the post.

The four of them sat at a high-rise table just inside of the center room, people buzzing and talking in the company of their own tables. The atmosphere was bubbly and fun with the soft jazz music playing on the stage at the back of the restaurant. Lydia could hear clinking glasses at a table next to her as an older couple celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary.

Marello's was a highly anticipated, notable five star chain that had just opened last week in Beacon Hills, and ever since it had opened, Lydia had received a call everyday from her mother asking to try it. "So then," Nathan began to laugh before the joke was finished. "I went up to Robin and told her that she couldn't trust every atom, because they always split!" Lorraine laughed along with him, while Natalie smiled against her glass, sipping on Sauvignon.

Lydia would have laughed too, if she hadn't heard that joke again for the fourth time that day.

"Yeah," Nathan continued, "the world of optical engineering is full of these kinds of jokes. You should hear some of the ones that Robin tells _me_! Do you want to hear another one?" There was a hint of glee in his eye as he breathed in to start again.

"Hi, is anyone interested in our signature layer cake or our tiramisu this evening?" The short, cleanly shaven man interrupted as he stood before the table with a smile. "I can say that the tiramisu would pair lovely with another glass of Sauvignon."

"You don't need to convince me," Natalie held up her glass slightly and swiveled around the remaining wine. "Bring us all a plate and each a glass of wine, please." The waiter smiled and retreated back toward the kitchen.

Lydia tensed up slightly, not looking forward to nursing Nathan off of another hangover. He was shit at having them and it was even worse trying to help him not get sick all over the new living room set that she had just purchased for their apartment. Nathan had already had two glasses of wine tonight, both the top rated red and white. And with them bringing more, Lydia could have sighed so hard that the 57th wedding anniversary would have been disturbed.

"I'm so happy that the two of you have moved back to Beacon Hills," Lorraine had her hand to her heart, grinning affectionately, "It's just nice to have my only grandchild home."

Lydia's heart lept. She was glad too. She had wanted to come home when she graduated M.I.T and was finally glad that she had the chance.

"Yeah, she finally sent in the application to Visalia for their main campus Research Division," Nathan sounded triumphant. "Her job now is okay, but I'm sure she could do better."

Lydia knew he was right, even though he was sounding more intoxicated by the second. She had been temporarily working for small research facility within Beacon Hills, but her main goal was a larger division a few cities over, in Visalia.

"So, you'll be commuting?" It wasn't so much a question, but a hope coming from Lorraine.

"I assume so. We just started renting the apartment," Lydia didn't even want to consider moving her new living room set back out of the apartment when it took so long to convince Nathan that it would fit through the front door. "The drive is only 4 hours away. But I'm not thinking too much about it right now. I haven't even heard if they got my application or not."

"You're going to get the job," Natalie said, straightforward. "To not go with a Martin is a dumb choice."

Nathan gave Lydia a light squeeze on the leg. "I'll be back in a moment everyone," he stood - ungracefully - and walked towards the narrow hallway in the back of the room, the cursive "washroom" sign hooked over it's opening. "I never forget how much he likes to talk," Lorraine noted once he was out of ear-shot. "It seems like he and his assistant are always joking around."

**

The tiramisu was just as delicious as the waiter had promised. Lydia ate most of her piece and was practically swimming in wine - because her mother just _had_ to order the _bottle_ instead of a glass because they were _treating themselves_ \- by the time Nathan returned to the table.

"I'm so sorry everyone, the alcohol really hit me quick while I was in the bathroom," he was slurring a little when he spoke and grabbed onto the back of Lydia's chair to sit in his own. "But on the plus side, the bathrooms here are beautiful."

The slow creep of euphoria flowed over Lydia once she finished her second glass of Sauvignon. She could suddenly feel how deep her breathing was and closed her eyes to welcome it.

If she did get this job, she would have to potentially rent another apartment in Visalia, which meant half of their earnings would go into it. She would be driving a lot and maybe eight hours a day, plus working a majority of it, would be a complete drag if she had to do it every day. And not to mention, driving alone at night was scary.

Did she even want the job?

She wouldn't try to convince Nathan to move with her. He would do it, but why would she want to ask him? He just landed his dream job - which is the entire reason they moved back to Beacon Hills in the first place - at one of the only optical engineering companies that specialized in his field. Nathan didn't have many friends yet, or she assumed he hadn't. They moved back a few months ago, and he only works with a select group of people.

Terrence Cater, a wealthy executive at Nathan's new company, had introduced Lydia to his wife, Paulette, at the hotel where there was a welcome pot-luck dinner. Then, she met two of his co-workers - Liam Dunbar and Theo Raeken - at a local beer garden a few nights after they settled back into Beacon Hills. They were nice men, both looking too young to work at the company. Lastly, Lydia met Robin, Nathan's assistant, when she came over to their apartment with flowers and a blueberry cobbler that supposedly spent "so many hours getting the measurements for the sugar just right."

Lydia didn't remember much about the cobbler, but she did remember how unnaturally white Robin's teeth were when she opened the door to let her in.

"Thank you so much," Lorraine gushed as she slid her credit card into the check folder. "This dinner was absolutely wonderful."

The waiter smiled. "Thank you all for coming." The two of them exchanged pleasantries while Nathan stood and held his hand out to Lydia.

"Are you ready to go, my love?" Nathan kissed her cheek as she took his hand and stood. "We will need to find a taxi."

"You go ahead, I need to use the restroom first."

Nathan wasn't wrong when he said that the bathrooms were beautiful. The walls were a mute green tile, with oval mirrors lining them. The rose gold sinks shimmered against the dim lighting, as well as curving rose pedals floating in the stilled, clear soap dispensers.

Her shoes echoed softly as she crossed more into the room. Lydia fluffed her hair in the mirror. The silky white dress shirt looked much more expensive in this lighting, pairing nicely with the high rise black pants.

"Your outfit is incredible. Saint Laurent, right?" Lydia turned to see a tall, toned woman, a genuine smile on her face. She looked familiar somehow, but Lydia couldn't place where she'd seen her before. "I would love to drive into LA and browse through their newest winter line."

The woman's long brunette hair was curled and lay across her back. She wore expensive clothes and had earrings on that Lydia saw in a store once and now regretted not buying.

Lydia smiled back. "You know your fashion. I like that."

"My mom was a buyer for a place back in San Francisco. She asked my opinion on things sometimes."

"Ugh, lucky," Lydia was slightly awestruck at the life that she could have excelled at if her mother were into fashion and not science. "You're living my best life."

The two of them laughed and the girl extended her hand toward Lydia. "I'm Allison."

Lydia grasped her hand. "Lydia," she paused briefly but had to ask. "Why did you ever leave San Francisco? I bet it's a dream there."

"It was, but I'm applying do different jobs now and Beacon Hills seemed like a good fit. For Scott too, my boyfriend. He's from here. It was a double plus, I guess." She laughed softly before digging around in her bag.

Lydia suddenly wondered if Allison wanted some sort of intellectual job or what kind of work she was in, judging by the prim state of her nails, having no cracking or chips in the paint.

Maybe she was into science, like her. Maybe they were both competing for the same job in Visalia.

Allison pulled her phone from, what Lydia noticed to be, a white Valentino bag. "I'm heading over to Sinema later tonight with a group if you want to come by." She started texting rapidly.

It hit Lydia like a truck. She remembered her.

This was the girl that was shoved up against the wall a few weeks ago outside of Sinema. The scandalizing memory of a neon pink tiger print skirt flooded her head, together with fake, cheap hair extensions, tousled and discarded clothes, and the untiring moaning coming from Allison and who she knew now as Scott.

"Maybe next time," Lydia sighed, regretful, "I need to find my drunk boyfriend. He's somewhere trying to find a taxi, maybe? And I would actually _die_ if he embarrassed both us at a restaurant like this."

Allison laughed before handing her phone out to Lydia. "Here, put your number in. We can meet up sometime for coffee. Maybe shop the new Saint Laurent if you want?"

Lydia grinned, accepting. She needed more of a circle than Nathan and whoever else. "Please, I need more girls to hang out with."

A few minutes later, she did find Nathan. Her mother and grandmother had already gone, after what she was assuming to be a graceful goodbye before Nathan had been completely enveloped with intoxication. He wasn't looking for a taxi, but was lightly pressing himself against the outside wall of Marello's, his eyes barely open.

"Lydia?" He sounded helpless. "I couldn't find our car." Lydia rolled her eyes. "That's because we're getting a taxi, doll," she stepped out, effortlessly hailing a cab. "Now was that so hard?" It was playful and she turned to laugh with Nathan but he had leaned against the wall again, only now his eyes were completely closed.

"Christ," she mumbled.

Maybe she would take the job in Visalia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> And that bag was for you, Mikaela.


	3. A Time of Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and wine and frustration.

The lights in the apartment were dim as Lydia paced back and forth on the cold tile floor of her kitchen. Her fitted sweatpants were loose on one side and it dragged along her ankle as she made each stride. 

The soft voice of Dodie hummed throughout the room through her phone speaker, along with the beginning whistle of the small yellow teapot that her mother had gotten her for Christmas last year.

Today wasn't the best.

Peppermint tea always helped, though, or it always had when she was sick. This was like being sick. Her stomach was tight and she felt like it was a waste to try and order dinner if she didn't know if it would stay down or not.

She lost her job today.

She was looking at dinner takeout menus before she got a call from her supervisor. It wasn't something she had done to cause her to lose it, but something that they needed to do for the facility. They needed to make room for the newest college interns - her supervisor said something about "needing to manage salary" and "needing more room for the manpower coming in" - and with Lydia being the newest outside hire, she was the one they had to cut. It was not personal, she kept telling herself, but it really felt like it. 

Lydia frowned, thinking about what she would do with the lab coats that she just purchased. Maybe she could donate them to the facility. Or maybe to the college where all the job stealing interns came from.

She let out a deep sigh. She was taking it _too_ personally.

There was wine in the cabinet. She would glance over at it every few seconds, but she really just wanted Nathan to come home from work and be here and talk to her. Where was he? He was two hours late.

The three large windows in her apartment faced a busy street that was currently vacant. The only thing that engaged the windows at all were the few drops of rain left over from the recent shower. Thunder still rung delicately in the overcast clouds, but it was more soothing than alarming. 

Whether it was her impatience or her nerves, Lydia walked towards the alcohol cabinet and browsed haphazardly through the lacking selection that she had. Her hand found the tallest bottle, the Maya, and pulled it over the remaining - being a bottle of Chardonnay and this really gross tasting champagne that was gifted to her once.

He was two hours late. He _is_ three hours late now, as she thought about ordering dinner. Where the fuck was he? 

The clock read 8:48 PM and Lydia huffed. He had told her stories of times when he would get home late that Terrance would add on specific assignments for him to do that were "optional to do at home" but were actually "things that needed to be done in the office" that others couldn't handle. Nathan would often talk about how Terrance overworked him and didn't pay him overtime for it, but Nathan would only agree to the tasks because he eventually wanted Terrance's job. 

" _Got to stay in the good books, Lyds,_ " he would tell her, " _I'll be able to buy us a big house with the kind of money he makes_."

And that was fine and whatever, because maybe he was right. His income was more important now. 

Because she lost her current job. And she didn't get the job in Visalia.

She couldn't be as mad as she wanted to be, because she lost the job to someone who rightfully deserved it just as much as she did. The victor, Kira Yukimura, was a known competitor who went to a rivaling school in Pasadena. She had sent in her application before the job even opened - because anyone who knew Lydia knew that she sent in her application in the minute that the job listed - and was chosen instead.

So, now Kira had the job and Lydia had a bottle of wine and Nathan still wasn't home.

The clock read 9:00 PM now and Lydia gave up, forgetting about her peppermint tea completely and indulged in her wine. She might eat dinner tonight or she might just keep drinking.

  
Nathan flashed in her head because she missed him. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him so deeply that they would fall on the couch. It felt like she hadn't kissed him or touched him or even looked at him in days, even though he only left this morning for work. He'd kissed her cheek then, telling her his love for her and left. 

She needed him. She drank half of the bottle already?

She wanted to thread her fingers in his short brown curls and rub against him until he did that breathy moan that he did when he really wanted her. She hadn't heard it in a long time. Not since he took this new job and was always at work. She had been by herself so much lately, they hadn't had a chance to do _anything_ in this apartment yet. 

Her eyes closed and she pressed the tip of the bottle to her lips, remembering how solid he felt against her the first night they slept together. It was in Massachusetts, right after Lydia left a going-away party for one of her former classmates. Nathan was there too, and he was eyeing her the entire night, complementing how nice she looked in navy and how delicious she smelled. And she fell right for it too, because she had never heard him say anything like that to anyone else before. She was special and he made sure she knew it. 

Lydia pressed her legs together, wishing he was here to finally fuck her in their new living room. 

She groaned, annoyed and voracious. Because he wouldn't be here, because he was always late now and wasn't there when she needed him. 

Still, his strong body and carefree hair remained in her mind, along with her yearning and wanting for him to be on top of her. 

She wondered how he would have felt against her thin bell bottom pants that night at Sinema. If she would have gone inside to dance with him and pressed her ass against him, loving anything she could feel against her, would he have done something to her on the dance floor? Where everyone could see?

She openly moaned then and took another gulp of her wine. Her hand slipped almost unnoticed beneath her pants and into her underwear.

There was a shift and suddenly a new pair of eyes seeped into her memory. She didn't know his name but she wanted to.

She wanted him to watch her again.

She thought back to the pair of dark eyes with the most consuming stare she'd ever seen. The way he held his flame out to light her cigarette on the balcony that night at Sinema. His eyes were also on fire. They studied her so steadily that her body would have been frozen in place, even with the absence of the October chill.

" _Do you like what you see?_ " His voice had sounded like velvet. Mocking and devilish, but smooth.

Her hand began to move faster against her clit.

His face was in her head now. The haunting smirk was burning at her and at her fingers as she ravished herself. Lydia's eyes squeezed shut. What would have happened if Nathan hadn't come out onto the balcony? What would that man have done?  
Would he have groped her or tried to kiss her? Would he have slipped his hand under the thin material of her shirt and pinched her nipples until she screamed his name? She had a feeling that his eyes would remain just as cold and alluring as they were from the beginning.

She imagined his hot breath against her ear, saying whatever the hell he wanted, wishing that he had fucked her raw against the brick wall outside of Sinema.

Lydia let out a choked gasp at the erratic pulsing within her. She pulled her hand free, alarmed and drenched. 

Shame rushed into her quickly, the reminder of Nathan - her _boyfriend_ \- fresh and unrelenting on her thoughts. With the shame came anger, too.

She didn't even know this man's name and he had left her throbbing.

**

  
The sun was glaring through the blinds of her bedroom window the next morning, a warm heat coming with it. Lydia heard the bed move next to her and her eyes opened slowly to see the ruffled, brown curls that she loved so much. 

"You were sleeping hard when I got home," Nathan said softly, grinning, "how much did you drink last night?" Gently, he rubbed small circles on her cheeks. His cotton shirt felt nice against her skin.

She didn't remember him coming home last night. She remembered drinking a lot, but she wasn't sure how much. 

"When did you get home?" 

"Around midnight," he was still rubbing circles on her face and knelt down to kiss her forehead. "You were asleep in the chair, so I brought you in here."

That explains why she was wearing his oversized Massachusetts sweatshirt and just her underwear. She shifted uncomfortably in her bra, half of her chest out of it underneath the sweatshirt. 

"Why did it take you so long?" She tried to keep her voice light. She didn't want to fall back into whatever mood she was in last night, where she would scream or yell or cry at any moment.

  
Nathan sighed and decidedly laid back down next to Lydia, pulling her head onto his chest. "Terrance had another assignment for me," there was disappointment in his voice, "I thought I could come home and we might could watch that movie you've been talking about."

Lydia wondered if he could hear her thoughts. She wondered if her guilt was soaking through her and leeching onto him as she flashed back to last night. Her hand moving almost unwillingly over her body at the thought of another man, groping her and feeling her and singeing her with a kiss that she'd never taken from him. 

She didn't even know who he was.

"Are you okay?" Nathan lifted her chin and smiled when she looked back at him. It made her want to melt into his light green eyes. His fingertips brushed across her shoulders and her neck. "You seem kind of tense."

"I'm fine," it was a lie, "I lost my job yesterday."

Nathan stiffened and sat up sharply. "Oh! Oh no, Lydia," he pulled her up with him then and hugged her to his chest. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here. What happened?"

She told him about losing her job and about not being accepted into Visalia over making breakfast. He was apologetic and stammering, his own guilt pressing into her. She forgave him, of course, naturally. She wouldn't blame him for something Terrance was asking him to do, no matter how outrageous it was.

"We should take a trip," he suddenly mentioned as he spread jelly across his toast, "We could do something fun to close out the year right. Maybe after Christmas?"

She turned around from the stove, still scrambling the eggs around in the thin pan. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe we can invite some of your friends and I can bring some of mine?"

It wasn't the romantic getaway that she was hoping for, but at this point, any chance to spend time with Nathan was good now, seeing as he would probably be spending most of his nights at work.

"I was thinking Calgary," he continued, "I know the area pretty well. I mean, I was up there all the time with my grandparents before they passed. I'm sure not too much as changed."

"Canada?" Lydia turned, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Yes, I've always wanted to go!"

Any thought of guilt or shame or even lust for another man was out of her immediately at the thought of being close to something Nathan loved and wanted to show her.  
  
"Great," Nathan was just as excited. "I'll call and make some reservations after breakfast."


	4. Little Gray Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We love a good Christmas party.

Light snow cluttered the roads as Beacon Hills experienced it's first downfall of the season. The small, white flakes clung firmly to the curves of the sidewalk, hugging in every crack and crevice.  
  
It was just dark enough for the street lights to come on and the cars filling the streets gleamed under them. The clouds overcast made the calm suburban road almost ghostly, all except for the house at the end of the street, which glowed with Christmas lights.  
  
"I love it when it's like this," Lydia breathed in the chilled air, a soft smile on her lips. It was gentle and still, reminding her of memories that she hadn't thought about in a long time.  
  
Her winters in Massachusetts were loathsome and always filled with terrible things happening, mainly centering around her clothes getting ruined by the weather. Countless heels broke underneath the mountains of snow on those uneven sidewalks, as well as scarves being torn on stray shards of ice. But here was nice. Here was light and easy and kind and Lydia could stay outside for hours, just looking as how graceful the show fell on the cars and houses and roads.  
  
"How long do we have to say?" Her thoughts were interrupted by Nathan, who she suddenly seemed to remember was next to her even though he had been there the entire time.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Lydia, you know she doesn't like me," he was trying to sound nice, she could tell, but there was a hint of annoyance in his voice, "are we just staying for dinner or what?"  
  
Lydia sighed. "No, we are staying for the ornament swap too. In high-school, I would always bring a few more for people who forgot," she shook her large shiny bag, letting the packaged ornaments toss around, "someone might need an extra to play."  
  
"Okay, fine," he grumbled out but Lydia ignore it, now clutching his hand tighter. They got closer to the house at the end of the street. The bright and somehow chaotic sound of Christmas music rung against the large, glass door on the front porch. The door was engulfed with sizeable wreath, rainbows of ribbons weaving within it. An array of colors flashed against her hands as the lights wrapped around the banister changed in tune with the current music playing inside the house.  
  
"She's been my friend for years," Lydia said plainly, as if reading Nathan's mind. She turned to see him glancing around, uninterested. "And, you know, she just got that divorce, so I would like to spend some time with her before we leave for Canada."  
  
He didn't say anything, but she was sure he was saying all sorts of things in his mind.  
  
Lydia nearly ran up the steps to knock on the door, but before she could reach it, the door swung open to reveal a lanky woman in a tight gold Santa suit, her long brunette curls ruffled around and a large zany grin on her face.  
  
"Fuckin' took ya long enough," she said, pulling Lydia into a hug. The white ball on her hat swung and hit Lydia in the face.  
  
The smell of roast turkey wafted out of the open door, as well as something sweet, but Lydia couldn't put her finger on it. People were laughing in the background, and she heard someone yelling too.  
  
Not as uninterested as before, Lydia heard Nathan clear his throat behind them, "Malia, hey, good to see you again."  
  
"Nathaniel-"  
  
"-Nathan-"  
  
"-Nate, so glad you brought my precious Lydia here safely." The words were flat and almost bored. Malia smiled, her eyes locked on Nathan, unblinking.  
  
Lydia didn't see it, but she assumed Nathan was shifting uncomfortably, only by the weird stepping sounds against the snow behind her.  
  
"Come on, both of you come in," Malia started again, pulling Lydia in the house now, "I'm about to put the liquor in the nog." Her eyebrows lifted.  
  
"Yeah, I fucking need it," Lydia heard Nathan mumble. She resisted the urge to give him a look and walked into the broad foyer.  
  
Greenery was everywhere. It was placed delicately along the window seals and on the outsides of the steps leading to the second floor. Shiny tinsel was wrapped around doorways and muted red ribbons hung zig-zagged along all ceilings in the house, or at least the ones that Lydia could see. From the foyer, she could see the opening to the living room where several people lounged around, some laughing and some already slurring their words.  
  
To the left of the front door were a majority of the gifts and a few ornament swap bags. One of the - assuming _several_ \- Christmas trees sat as well, lit from top to bottom and covered in strings of popcorn. The overabundance of winter coats were threatening to spill onto the ground, overwhelming Malia's candycane painted coat rack. Nevertheless, Lydia took off her coat and tossed it within the others.  
  
When she turned to reach for Nathan's coat, he brushed past and left the two of them, walking towards the kitchen, undoubtedly where most of the drinks were. Visibly stiff, he turned the corner without looking back.  
  
"What crawled up his ass?" With how she said it, Malia couldn't care less, "does he not like Christmas or something?"  
  
Lydia pursed her lips and changed the subject. "I'm sorry we were late. I had to decide what to wear. Mom gave me a few gifts early so we could start packing for Canada and I couldn't decide between the Louis Vuitton or the-"  
  
"Burberry, I'm sure," Malia finished, walking the two of them towards the living room.  
  
Lydia smiled, glee in her voice now. "Yeah, naturally, because you know I love Burberry. However, Louis Vuitton really won me over with their new line of red dresses." She fluffed out the tailored red dress, admiring it for a moment. "I match great with all of your decorations in this house."  
  
A smug look crossed Malia's face as she picked up a tall bottle of Korbel. "You know Dennis didn't want to decorate when we got the house. So, it's a little much," The tub of eggnog was full now as Malia poured most of the bottle in, "but I don't really give a shit, so," she tipped the bottle up and took the last swig of brandy for herself.  
  
"So..." The conversation was a long time coming, but they hadn't see each other. Lydia breathed in to speak, but Malia cut her off.  
  
"Why did I end it with that shitwad?" Malia guessed, tipping the bottle of Korbel fully upside-down to drain the last few drops. "I walked in on him fuckin someone," she shrugged, still careless as she shook the bottle, this time hitting the end to knock the drops out of it and into her mouth.  
  
Lydia's eyes went wide. He had cheated on her?  
  
"Oh my God, Malia-"  
  
"Listen, it was for the best," Malia was waving her hands around and had a weird smile on her face. "I suspected he was cheating. Even before the wedding."  
  
Lydia wished they had talked about that before the wedding, or even on the wedding day.  
  
When they flew in from Massachusetts, it was a sunny day in April. It was perfect for a wedding. She remembered, mainly because she had told Nathan when they reached the venue how welcoming the honey suckle vines smelled and how beautiful the tulips were on all of the reception tables.  
  
Malia had looked angelic, with the silk of her wedding dress flowing against the wind and the flower crown neatly tucked within her curls.  
  
And when Lydia finally got to meet Dennis, he was the type that Lydia always knew that Malia would go for. Malia had introduced him as a Orthodontist, which paired satisfyingly with his giant bright smile. He had stuck his hand out politely to shake Lydia's hand and from then on, she was impressed. Never would she have imagined that he was cheating.  
  
"And he was Jewish," Malia interjected then, pulling Lydia out of her memory. She gestured around at the plethora of decorated trees and spirals of ribbons. A smirk replaced her weird smile and she pointed towards herself and said, "you know a bitch loves Christmas."

******

  
  
Several things went through Lydia's head as she drank another cup of eggnog.  
  
One, the eggnog is _amazing_.  
  
How many drinks had she had tonight, being number two, because she lost count.  
  
Number three consisted and centered around Malia screaming - singing? - with a group of her cousins and the piano in the living room.  
  
And lastly, where was Nathan? She hadn't seen them since she got to the party.  
  
She had been drinking a lot lately, she decided, given that most of the nights this week - or actually the month before now - she had been drinking every night or every other night. There wasn't much thought to why she had the habit now, and even if there was, she wasn't thinking straight enough to figure it out.  
  
"Mmm, hits the spot," someone said close to her and she turned to see one of her former classmates sauntering through the doorway of the living room, a full cup of something dark in his hand. "Hey baby, you want to rub up next to me?"  
  
Her vision was a little skewed, but not that much. She remembered this guy being in her homeroom class however many years ago, but she couldn't remember his name. Lydia wrinkled her nose in disgust at the smell of whatever that smell was on him and declined as respectfully as she could. Still, he persisted.  
  
"What I'm saying is we could fuck in the closet." It was blunt and gross and Lydia couldn't resist rolling her eyes.  
  
"It's funny to me that you think I'm single," Lydia said flatly and before heading towards the front foyer for her coat. She really needed a cigarette. "Get bent."  
  
"Get bent, Howard!" Malia sung into her song she had been screaming, pointing wildly at the rejected man, her eggnog spilling around the edges of her cup. Her cousins joined in and a chorus rung out towards the man.  
  
It had gotten colder outside since the party began, but the warmth of the alcohol and the thick fabric of her coat kept the chill from affecting her too much. Snow cover the trees above her now, as well as most of the back porch of Malia's house.  
  
She breathed in slowly, letting the cold air fill her lungs. It really was a good decision moving back to Beacon Hills and away from the tussle of the big city. She missed the quite nights and the slow days. She missed seeing her mother and grandmother every other day. She missed seeing Malia.  
  
This place was her home. She could grow here and start a family.  
  
This is the one thing she hated about drinking. She didn't like to think about serious things, because her inner fears always seemed to lay across her heart and mind and sometimes it scared her.  
  
She wasn't ready for a family, but she couldn't help but think about it. She couldn't help imagining a child or two running through a new house that she could potentially build with whomever she decided to spend her life with.  
  
Sliding onto a well-kept couch or dipping into a large bubble bath in a house to call hers sounded more appealing than ever, especially on cold nights likes these.  
  
Her thoughts drifted to Nathan as she took a long drag of the cigarette between her lips, the smoke resonating in her mouth. The alcohol always heightened her want for his touch, but it almost forced her to consider other things about their future and if they had one.  
  
But of course they had one. They just got that apartment and she just ordered those new sofas for their living room and they were beginning their life here.  
  
He had been acting different. She surmised that it was because of his new job and because of the stress and responsibility that Terrance had suddenly put on him. But even with that, he was gone a lot. Almost too much. He wouldn't come home some nights, and even when he did, it was close to midnight or after.  
  
Lydia sighed, smoke filling the air in front of her.   
  
A small, dreadful thought started to rise in the back of her throat and up her chest and through her heart, but she shoved it back down quickly, taking another long drag on her cigarette.  
  
Her hands felt stiff then and she slipped her free hand into her woolen jacket pocket, slightly off-guard by the unexpected point that pressed against her fingers. She pulled a small gray envelope from her pocket.  
  
"What?" She mouthed, putting out the cigarette, her eyebrow raising at the small flower drawn on the back of it. A card was folded inside.  
  
Curiosity overtook her then and the thought of who this was meant for crossed through her head, because it certainly wasn't for her. There were dozens of coats hanging on and around the rack. Maybe it was in her pocket by mistake.  
  
But still, she was so curious and she opened it.  
  
" _You are captivating in red_ ," it read, " _please let me take that dress off of you._ " There was no signature on the card.  
  
Even with the chill, she could feel the blush creep up her neck, but more-so than that, the embarrassment that came with being turned on by a card. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's coming soon.
> 
> Can you feel it?


	5. In The Middle Of The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don't need him."

December was a blur.

The streets were still icy, the air was constantly cold, and the decorations on the main roads of Beacon Hills remained lit up and particularly placed on light poles and store fronts. Somewhere, in one of the parks, a beautiful set of Christmas hollies bloomed underneath a tree and Lorraine and Natalie both picked a set for their festive tables.

Lydia had countless dinners and drinks with family and friends passing through the town, as well as a rare meet up with a few college friends that she and Nathan had graduated with. Multiple pictures were taken and filed into scrapbooks. Several presents were exchanged and cherished, even more presented when opened. 

  
When Lydia received Gucci's newest black ankle boots from her mother, she didn't want to take them off. She wore them to town and on walks. She wore them as she packed for the flight to Canada next week. She fell asleep with them on. 

  
Her grandmother outdid herself, as usual, as she gifted Lydia a treasured ring that she had kept for years, along with the original diamonds in it. 

  
"Your grandfather gave this to me when he and I first started dating," Lorraine must have seen the shock of Lydia's face because she laughed, "I know it seems strange, but we were like two halves. We knew instantly."

  
It had been a few days since then and those words stuck with Lydia. 

  
To have a love that clicked. A love that bloomed through together, rooting deep and melding as one. To have a love that was understanding and effervescent, somehow outshining others around.

  
To know instantly. 

  
One cold night, while Lydia was in a local coffee shop with her mother, they got on the subject of Nathan, seeing as he was working late yet again for the third time that week. 

  
"Maybe he's going to propose," Natalie suddenly said and Lydia choked on her drink, awkwardly trying to keep any from spilling on the table. 

  
The thought had not even crossed her mind and to have _that_ thought - or in this case, not have it - filled Lydia with shame. He could have been planning a proposal this entire time, explaining the late nights out and the constant working. Maybe his accompanying coworkers were assisting him with plans, and maybe that's why Lorraine gifted Lydia the ring, just for him to turn and propose with it to catch her off guard. 

  
Maybe he would plan a surprise in Canada, with a string of lights hanging across the room's ceiling, paired elegantly with flowers tossed about with chocolate and champagne awaiting the reception that he had perfectly planned with invited family and friends. 

  
That could have been his plan this entire time, even since they returned to Beacon Hills.

  
The stale concept hung in her mind for a moment and it was a ridiculous thought, but even she didn't believe that. Emotions rose slightly with the image of Nathan spending late nights at the office, doing God-knows-what, but she silently willed him to be doing work and to be honest and for her fears to leave her. 

  
She trusted him. 

  
That's what it came down to. He would never do anything to hurt her.

  
"Lydia, honey?" Natalie's voice halted the racing thoughts and pulled Lydia back in. "Are you alright?"

  
"I'm not sure he's ready to get married," Lydia mentioned with a calm, forced voice, sipping the iced drink and ignoring the near frantic spill from moments ago, "we are still working on our careers. I would like to have a stable job."

  
There was a comfortable silence then, both women leaning into the table and drinking quietly. The snow started to fall slowly again outside.

  
By the time their drinks were finished, neither of them had said a word. They looked together out of the large window that pressed against their table, the snow now sticking against the sidewalk outside. 

  
Lydia looked away from the outside when her mother's warm hand reached out, cradling her hand with her own. 

  
"You don't have to marry him," Natalie told her gently, "you don't have to do anything."

  
Lydia smiled.

  
She knew that, but eventually, their lives would align again like they had in college, where they were both excited to start a life together. Everything would fall into place and she would feel stable and excited to move forward with a good man. He was good to her.

  
She trusted him and that's what it came down to.

******

Christmas day came and went and it was as quickly as Lydia had wished it to be. On the morning of, Nathan surprised her with a recipe that he had been trying to master for a few days now, unknown to her.

  
The perfect Canadian breakfast, he had called it, as he pushed the door open with his foot. The cute matching pajamas that she had suggested they wear looked great clinging to his torso and legs, she noticed, as he finally reached her. 

  
Fried eggs, potatoes, pork sausages, toast, and a stack of pancakes greeted her and her mouth started to salivate. He placed the tray on the bed and handed her a hot cup of coffee.

  
She grinned. He was good to her - when they had time together.

  
"Merry Christmas, my love," he smiled, coming close to her face and kissing her cheek, "I thought you might enjoy this spread. My grandpa used to make it for my grams on special days, like Christmas and her birthday. I thought you might like a taste of something to expect before we leave for Canada in the morning."

"Thank you, doll," Lydia said sweetly before cutting into the fried egg. She decided later that if his current job didn't work out for him, he could go into cooking. 

  
When they finished breakfast, Nathan grabbed her hand and started to pull her from the bed. "Listen, I have a gift for you in the living room. Will you join me?"

  
Judging by the way he was looking at her, she assumed the excitement she felt inside started to appear on her features. He grasped her face and pulled her forward for a kiss. 

  
Almost embarrassingly, a desperate moan left her and escaped into his mouth as she pressed her body against him. She didn't want to be this girl, but she really missed his touch. She could feel him grin along her lips as he hugged her chest tightly to his. 

  
Her hands were moving toward his hair to grip onto when, abruptly, he stopped and pulled away. "Come on, Lyds. Your gift is under the tree."

  
She was unsure if her disappointment came through like her excitement had, but she decided to push it back for now and stop her hands from touching him. 

  
Their small Christmas tree was the only light in the room once they reached it. Few ornaments hung on it, including things they had received for graduation and small picture ornaments that held the two of them, as well as pictures of both of their families. The sparkling wolf head ornament that she won at Malia's Christmas party was close to the top.

Out of all of her December memories thus far, Malia's Christmas party had been the day she least remembered. She was countless eggnogs in that night and after whatshisname tried to fuck her in the closet, things started to get a bit hazy. 

  
The meshy, gold pant fabric of Malia's Santa suit was almost a permanent feeling Lydia felt pressed against her cheek, similar to the one she felt when she woke up at the party that night. There was no telling how many hours had passed.

  
She later found that Nathan left the party before she woke, leaving a message for someone to call him when she woke up. 

  
When she finally did wake up, she started shaking Malia, only for her to grunt back. Lydia's face was imprinted into Malia's thigh as they rested against the bathroom tub. They were no doubt taking turns heaving up the massive amounts of liquor before they both passed out. 

  
That was the most memorable part.

  
That and the note.

  
The small note that reached her fingers as she searched for warmth inside the pockets of her coat.

  
However curious she was, she had not mentioned it to Nathan. He had told her how good she looked in red. He had told her that he wanted to take the dress off of her. He wrote it. Yet, he had done nothing. 

  
She would have to bring it up tonight. 

  
From the way Nathan's eyes lit up when he held the small box out to Lydia, he lived and breathed for whatever surprise hid beneath it. It was a small, velvet box, black as night with the brand of a popular jewelry store on the edge of Beacon Hills. 

  
The box was too big for a ring box, she noted, but felt nothing outside of that. If she were being honest, there was a ping of something within her heart, but was undecided if disheartened or relieved.

  
"I had a little help picking this out," he pulled the small emerald bow apart, leaving the ribbon to be a strand in his hand, "but I knew instantly when I saw it that it would look perfect on you."

  
Since when had he needed help to find the jewelry she liked? The thought itself upset her. Why was she suddenly so defensive? The questions on her lips fell silent as he opened the box to reveal the most beautiful, shimmering rose gold bracelet she had ever seen. Laced delicately with diamonds, it seemed to gleam brighter with each passing second.

  
Lydia's eyes grew wide, surely, as he lifted it from the box and held it towards her wrist.

  
"I hope you like it," he was smiling now, already knowing how she felt. When he placed the bracelet on her wrist, she gawked for a moment before rushing into his arms and clinging to his chest. 

  
"Of course, I love it," she breathed out through a smile and the several kisses she freckled on his face, "I love you."

  
"I love you."

  
This gift made up for something, because the a weight lifted from her chest then, freeing her of an unknown bound. She wasn't so unsettled about him being late or him not being around as much as she assumed. She could breath easier.   
It was only a gift, but to her it was more. 

  
**

Even at five in the morning, the airport was as busy as a big city, with people running around and dragging bags behind them. The clusters of bodies would have been alarming to Lydia if the heat coming from the closeness wasn't so inviting. California wasn't the coldest, but the early time's chill pierced through her thin jeans. 

She clutched the small carry-on bag to her side and turned, trying to use the height of the Gucci boots - and yes, again, she would thank her mom later - to tower over people passing around her. Nathan should be somewhere in tow.

  
The large windows above her let in no natural light, but she could see the lights of planes passing over, both landing and taking off. She wondered then how big her plane might be and if she would have the window seat.

  
Nathan had arranged all the tickets. One for each of the two of them, Malia was coming, two of Nathan's newest friends and coworkers - Liam and Theo - were coming and Lydia was glad about that. She would be happy to have her best friend to share her first experience out of the country, and glad that Nathan had guys to hang around with.

  
Nathan had said himself that he didn't want to invite too many people, because he was offering to pay for all the tickets and gift them for Christmas. That's why Lydia didn't offer to invite Allison, even though the two of them had hung out a few times and she felt like she was gaining a close friend. Her mother wasn't coming, nor was her grandmother.

  
She thought it would be a fun friends trip over all.

  
Which that is why it _really_ surprised her when Nathan offered to buy tickets for his assistant, Robin, and Robin's new boyfriend.

  
" _I was being nice, Lyds_ ," he told her the night before, " _I wasn't planning this. She was telling me that she always wanted to visit Canada._ "

  
She decided then to not bring up the note. 

  
If he was just being nice, he wouldn't have bought two tickets for two people he wasn't very close with. 

  
Something was...off. She wasn't jealous and she trusted Nathan. But still something was...off.

  
An air hostess scurried past Lydia quickly then, nearly bumping her and muttering something about missing her flight. Lydia looked around, seeing Malia walking toward her, two coffees in her hands.

  
"Listen I got you iced, because iced is superior," was all she said before handing Lydia the lighter cup of the two, "also, you can't handle black coffee so I got you one of those girly things."  
  


Lydia laughed, taking a sip of what she guessed to be a macchiato. Malia took a big gulp of black coffee before turning back to Lydia. "Where is whatshimname?"  
  


"Who?" Lydia raised a brow and looked around.

  
Malia started to snap her fingers, as if forgetting the name. "The, um, the Christmas hater," she snapped a few more times before getting it, "Nathaniel! Where's Nathaniel? Or did you break up with him already."

  
Lydia closed her eyes. "Malia, come on-"

  
"-I'm kiddddingggg-"

  
"Alright ladies, our ternimal is this way," Nathan's voice cut through the passing chatter that surrounded the girls, "We should get moving." He was walking and talking, not waiting for them to catch up. 

  
Lydia wasn't mad, but Malia could have eased up a little bit. It wasn't funny and she wasn't on edge - she wasn't, she wasn't. She was fine and happy to be going to Canada because she loved Nathan and she trusted him. She trusted him, and there was nothing weird about him telling her last night - on _Christmas_ night - that he had invited a girl that she didn't know very well at all - a _very_ beautiful girl - that she didn't know very well at all but who _he_ had spent presumably every night working with for _months_ and he invited this girl on _her_ trip to Canada because this girl just _wanted_ to go and - 

  
No, it wasn't weird, it was fine. Everything was _fine_.

  
"You look like you're having a stroke," Malia mentioned casually as she slung an arm around Lydia to pull her forward. Nathan was already ten steps ahead of them, passing under big white signs that signaled which terminal was which. "Come on, we have to catch up to beef cake."

  
It felt like Lydia was forcibly pulling her feet from the floor with each step to walk with Malia. Dread filled her, almost instantaneously, as she tried to push these feelings out and away from her. She couldn't be experiencing them now, not when she would be bound to everyone for over a week and out of her comfort zone. 

  
It was quitter now, as people started to flow into different lines and hallways that took them to their own terminal. Few people gathered around where she saw Nathan stop, and some people were spread out in the chairs that overlooked the windows and the outside. 

  
"Hi girls!" 

  
Her heart broke then, slightly, seeing a dolled-up Robin, who grinned broadly and waved big. She was excessively tan for the winter months, and wore a tight sweater that would make Lydia uncomfortable if she wore it. Foundation caked onto her face, but she made it look effortless. Her teeth were just as fluorescent as Lydia remembered, if not more, and her dark brown hair was curled in tight spirals. Almost impressive for the early morning. 

  
She stood with the rest of the boys, her pinky finger entwined around the finger of a man Lydia had never seen. He was lean and had styled blonde hair, and he was notably tired, seemingly uninterested, and undoubtedly her boyfriend. 

  
"Hey," Malia's response was harsh as the two closed in on the group. "Let's get this show on the road."

  
Next to Nathan stood Liam and Theo, as awake and friendly as anyone could be for this early in the morning.

  
"Hey," Liam greeted politely, offering his hand out to Malia, "I'm Liam, it's nice to meet you."

  
"Sure, sure," Malia replied to him, shaking his hand in return. "So glad to see so many excited people when a person shouldn't be awake at this hour."

  
"You'll get used to it," Theo interjected as he tossed his backpack over his shoulder. "It's not that bad."

  
Malia blinked several times and glanced behind her before facing Theo again. "Yeah, who asked you, buddy?"

  
Theo's brows turned downward. "What?"

  
"Good morning passengers," a speaker sounded out, "this is a call out for all first class seats for _Flight F8683_ to Calgary, Canada. We are now asking all children and people who are in need of special assistance to pre-board the flight now - that is _Flight F8683_ pre-boarding all children and people in need of assistance."

  
"Nothing, nothing," Malia finished, leaving a confused Theo. She turned away and pulled Lydia with her. They distanced themselves away before Malia spoke again. "Listen, are you going to be okay? You look sick."

  
Lydia sighed, "I just wasn't prepared for her to come."

  
Malia looked behind her, obvious, "Who, the bimbo?"

  
"Malia, don't be hateful."

  
"I could use her teeth to light up my whole house."

  
"Malia!" A giggle broke through Lydia's lips even though she was on the verge of anxious tears. She wondered what she would be like if Malia wasn't here to dampen the anxiety. Maybe she would be in a puddle on the floor, with sweat and tears over some girl that was potentially sleeping with her soon-to-be-maybe-her-husband. 

  
She wanted to stop the thought, but it was too late. It had been on the brink of her mind for days, weeks even. Nathan cheating on her was a reality that she had been forced to consider, and now with Robin here, it made it more probable.

  
Malia must have noticed because she said, "stop digging a hole in your brain and come back to me," she was snapping lightly in Lydia's face, "I can elbow one of those guys over there and we can take their two-seater and you can sit by the window."

  
Yeah, Nathan would likely notice her distress if she sat with him on the plane. Being next to Malia was a good idea. "What would I do without you?" Lydia asked as they started walking back towards the group.

  
The line was dwindling down now are more people started on the walkway to board. Nathan turned and smiled at Lydia as he crossed the checkpoint, both Liam and Theo in tow. Robin gripped her boyfriend's hand and they followed as well.

  
Malia shrugged as they neared the entrance. "I don't know, probably die?"

  
Lydia laughed again. "Yeah, probably."

******

Calgary was everything. 

  
It was everything that Lydia had dreamed, had imagined, and wished for when she finally crossed the thresh and was off of the plane. The buildings were towering and the mountains as large as she had ever seen a mountain looking out of the window of the plane. 

  
The snow was still heavy on the streets around her, and even with the trees loosing the leaves, the colors of Calgary popped out. The buildings were lively, and for the first time in months, she was surrounded with a big city feeling that she longed to be a part of every day. The fast pace, the never ending events, the thrills - it called to her. 

  
The Calgary Tower had been her favorite part thus far, as she overlooked the entire city from hundreds of meters in the air. Following close behind was the Calgary Zoo and Public Art Safari. 

  
They had lunches in Prince Island Park, they walked around Heritage Park Historical Village - and got several photos for Lydia's future scrapbook - and Lydia spent as much money as she allowed herself on 17th Ave. After all, Gravity Pope had all the clothes she didn't knew she needed until she saw them. 

  
"Malia, _look_ ," Lydia emerged from a dressing room wearing a dark red, cap-sleeved, mini turtleneck dress, "Tell me that I look good because I have to buy this dress and if paired with my new Gucci boots, ugh," a squeal left her as she stopped to do a twirl, "to _die_ for."

  
In a large oval chair sat Malia, practically buried under a stack of fashion magazines that she had no interest in. She moved the latest issue of "So-Hot-Fash" away from her face to do a quick once-over of Lydia before bringing it back up. "It looks fine, just like the other seven dresses."

  
"But is it _the_ dress for tonight?" Lydia persisted, observing herself in the mirror. She smoothed it out against her legs, accepting that it was only a little tightly fit. "This is my first New Year celebration outside of America. It has to be _the_ dress."

  
"You'll get cold," Malia mentioned, not moving the magazine to look again, but Lydia interrupted.

  
"I'll wear tights if it get's too cold. Come on, let's get back to the hotel so we can get ready."

  
The Hotel Fairmont was the most upscale hotel that Lydia had ever stayed in. It was set right off of one of the busiest streets in the city and had a well-lit stairwell leading up and into the lobby. Warm wood tones, matched with shades of ivory and glass paneling lined everywhere once the entire lobby was in view, accompanied with large arrangements of flowers and pottery. The black couches were stainless, paired with hand-sewn pillows and silk throws. 

  
The few hours later, Lydia was settled in Malia's room, undressed and her hair in rollers. The hotel rooms were spacious and cozy, with deep green walls and large windows. Malia was singing - screaming? - in the shower as Lydia leaned towards the full length mirror or reapply her makeup. 

  
"God, people might hear you, Malia," Lydia called out just at the blush brushed against her cheek. The bathroom door was open, so she knew Malia could hear her, but once the singing got louder, she gave up. 

  
"Hey," Lydia tried again, almost nervous, "should we invite Robin to get ready with us?" It was a bit out of nowhere. She heard the shower turn off and Malia poked a lathered head out from behind the curtain. 

  
"I don't like her face," was all Malia said before disappearing behind the curtain and turning the shower back on. She spoke a little louder then, over the water, "also, why in the hell would you want that?"

  
She didn't truthfully, but she wanted to be nice. She and Robin hadn't really spoken for six or so days already that they had been on this vacation. There was small talk, and she was always kind - or overly kind if that was a thing - and it wasn't fake but it felt forced. 

  
"And if she can keep her eyes in her fucking head, it might be different." Lydia hadn't noticed that Malia was out of the shower and next to her until she said that.

  
It was true. Robin was always looking.

  
When she was cuddled next to Nathan in the Calgary Tower, Robin was looking. When she was taking cute photos with Nathan at the Heritage Park, Robin was looking. Today, when she had decided to split off with Malia to go shopping while Nathan went to other stores, Robin was looking. 

  
Lydia felt a churn in her stomach.

******

Aside from being luxurious, the hotel itself was popular amongst locals and guests due to the famous rooftop bar - Bar D'Amore. Like Sinema, it provided a sultry vibe with dim lighting, but Bar D'Amore provided much more room and comfort with the dozens of private tables. In the bar, a stark white wall was luminesce in contrast to the remaining navy walls, with several oak shelves holding countless brands of alcohol. 

  
Black tiled industrial windows took up the far wall, and had an opening onto the outside patio, which held a contained fire pit and couches, among other things. 

  
"Wow," Nathan whistled as he, Liam, Theo, Robin, and Robin's boyfriend - whom Lydia still couldn't remember the name of - waited outside of the bar.

  
Lydia quirked a brow. "Thank you." The brown, smoky eye was a good choice, and who could go wrong with a signature red lip? It matched well with the fitted red dress. And if she were correct, he thought she looked captivating in red. 

  
A large, pendant light hung in the middle of the room, resembling a garnet and there was a secluded top level, holding only a table or two that overlooked the rest of the bar. It would be a nice place for Lydia to pull Nathan away for a private kiss when the clock stuck midnight. 

  
"What are you drinking, gorgeous?" The group has dispersed now, leaving Nathan and Lydia alone right inside the entrance to the bar. Nathan pressed his mouth to Lydia's ear and kissed it. "Want something strong to start off?" He kissed her ear again, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. "It's been a while."

  
Lydia sighed, blissful, as she melted into him. It had been a while. Both of them had decided to call off drinking until the new year, and now with groups of people surrounding them, all dressed fancy and clinking glasses together, she was more tempted than ever. And, yes, it had been awhile since she felt his dick harden against her. She wanted to moan, both out of arousal and desperation. At last, he felt like hers again. 

  
"Yeah, something strong to start," she pressed her ass hard against him and grinned when he breathed heavy in her ear, "and then we can play later."

  
He kissed her neck then and left her, moving quickly to the bar. The tension had been building up in her for days, for weeks, and it was a violent need once she noticed the eyes that Robin given Nathan every so often. Nathan was her boyfriend, and nobody would have him except her. He would know tonight, when she pulled him away and fondled him beneath the darkness of the room.

  
The line at the bar was long and the room was hot. Lydia wandered outside then, finding a spot to wait for Nathan. Thin tables lined the edge of the patio and most of them were vacant, with the exception of a group shouting about resolutions. A small flame escaped from the firepit in the center as some men poked at it.

  
Malia was out there too, Lydia found out, draped leisurely against the half-wall of concrete that fenced in the patio. A tall man stood in front of her and he was leaning toward her, no doubt seducing. 

  
Lydia leaned over the wall on her side, looking over at the passing cars that were speeding through the streets. Streamers were tied to the back of one car, and she saw a girl hanging out of another, a horn in her mouth. 

  
"Your drink."

  
Lydia turned, not recognizing the voice. A man stood behind her, partially a silhouette under the shadows, and she wasn't sure who he was. He was tall and slim, his hands occupied with two drinks - one, a dark whiskey, and the other, a clear alcohol.

  
"I'm sorry?" She had an awkward smile, despite herself. Had she met him?

  
He stepped closer then, merely inches from her. Her breath caught in her throat, realizing. This is the man from Sinema, the one who offered to light her cigarette. The one who's eyes lit her on fire with the look he gave her. The one face she saw in the heat of that arousing thought that guided her fingers against her.

  
He was dressed in all black, the fabric tailored to him so closely that it was almost proactive. The light of the fire bounced off his shoes as he stepped closer to the table.

  
The one who she remembered as devilish, but now welcoming, at the same time. 

  
"Your drink," he repeated, simple, untroubled, "you looked lonely out here."

  
"No, I'm okay, my boyfriend is getting me something."

  
He either didn't hear her or he ignored it. He leaned into the table then, passing the lighter colored drink across to her. She gave him a skeptic glance. "There isn't anybody at the bar. Everyone has cleared out."

  
"Then he is looking for me." Of course he was. She hadn't said she would wait outside. This was a huge level of the hotel, of course he couldn't find her. She touched her bracelet, instinctively, her eyes searching for Nathan. 

  
"I got you a Reyka mix, you like that don't you?" His eyes were now bore into hers, fervent and studying, but not predatory. His face was relaxed, all but his eyes, and his body was still, lingering in a space that felt invasive.

  
She shifted, finding the gaze hard to break. He tilted his head then, smiling, and it could have been her previous arousing thoughts of him that enticed her, but the smile alone sent a new heat through her. 

  
She may later blame the alcohol, even though she hadn't had any to drink. 

  
"Please, excuse me," Lydia said quickly, before pushing the drink away. 

  
She felt his eyes on her as she turned away from him and started back toward the inside. She resisted the urge to turn back, not wanting to give into the sudden vibrant tension that she shared with this stranger. The music was loud now, as midnight approached, and she buried herself within the clusters of people, hoping to see the only face she was searching for. With each passing second, her knees felt weak.

  
A dull unease consumed her, as her fears grew. Where was he? Where was she? She spotted Malia first, now inside, with the man she had been talking to. She was hugging against him as he kissed her neck and she had a leg wrapped around his. She saw Theo and Liam next, hovering around the door, both a drink in hand and both talking to one another. The man she had come to know as Robin's unmemorable boyfriend was outside, alone and with a cigarette.

  
Her heart began to beat in her throat. 

  
She blinked, but it felt too slow, as she pushed her way through to the small upper level above the bar - a place her instinct led her to. Her hands trembled, wishing now she had accepted the drink the devil had offered her.

  
Once she reached the top of the steps, her breath caught.

  
Nathan had Robin pinned against one of the two tables on that level. She was almost laid against it, her breasts out and her head fallen back. He was biting her neck, kneading her and licking her. Breathy moans escaped them both, and more violently from him as she cupped him against his slacks. 

  
Both of their eyes were shut tight as he lowered his head to bite her nipple. If the music wasn't deafening, her scream of pleasure would have been heard, as animalistic as it was. Robin's arms clung around Nathan's head, pulling wildly at his hair. 

  
Lydia hadn't breathed, nor moved, her eyes fixated on Robin. As her arms flung helplessly around Nathan, the gold reflected beneath the dim lighting. 

  
The most beautiful, shimmering rose gold bracelet she had ever seen.

  
Only now, on Robin.

  
Her nails dug into her arm, instantly bringing her body back to herself. She rushed downstairs, unnoticed, but she doubted either would care if they were caught.

  
Her eyes began to search as she shoved through the crowds of the overpacked bar, willing Malia to appear in front of her so she could fall apart around someone she knew.

  
A sick feeling buried itself in her stomach as she reached at the nearest person, yanking their drink from their hand. The person started to yell, but Lydia paid no attention, drowning her throat with the alcohol. It was bitter and she gagged, searching wildly for another drink. 

  
She was right.

  
She wanted to die, but she was right.

  
She felt it in her gut, her soul, her spirit, and she shoved it away, forcing herself to see the good in a man who no longer existed to her. He was upstairs, fucking some whore who he'd known for a few months. 

  
She had to drown it out.

  
She stole and downed another drink as she forced her way toward the door. A sea of faces gazed at her now, the ones not too drunk showing mild concern, but she only recognized one.

  
Liam stood, alone, next to the archway that went in and out of the bar. His brows were knitted together, alarm on his face.

  
"Lydia, are you alright?" His arms rose slightly, awkwardly, attempting to offer some sort of security. "What happened?" His drink tipped, spilling some at his effort to help.

  
She ignored him and jerked the drink out of his hand, spilling more. "If Malia is looking for me, tell her I'm in her room."

  
He looked helpless as she moved past him, leaving him with an empty glass. 

  
Her body felt heavy and her head throbbed as she reached her hand out to press the button to the elevator. Tears built behind her eyes, but she was too angry to let them out right now. She would sleep, she would be in the dark, she wouldn't more, and only then would she let it out.

  
" _You don't have to marry him,_ " her mothers voice echoed in her head and it felt taunting now, mocking at the thought for even considering him as someone she would spend her life with. 

  
She really loved him and it felt like someone shot her. She felt ignorant, incapable, and at a stop. Her breath caught again and she hugged tightly into herself, trying to come back.

  
Her feet were moving before her brain caught up to her, out of the elevator and out of the hotel. Had she not pressed the button to Malia's floor?

  
She began to pace, finding herself at the entrance of a small garden, on the farthest side of the hotel. It was dark, but some lights shines among the carefully trimmed flower bushes and shrubs.

  
It was cold outside, but her body indulged, finding contentment in bare legs, free from tights. She felt suffocated, suddenly, beneath the red turtleneck dress.

  
The dress she bought for Nathan. She wanted him to love it, obsess over it. She wanted to _captivate_ him -

  
"Are you lost, baby?"

  
It was calm and patient, like a purr in the dark. She froze, turning to see him, the one who's eyes never seemed to leave her. 

  
"You," she said, the slightest curiosity in her tone. He stood at the entrance of the garden.

  
There it was again - that smirk that was both irritating and alluring. He stalked toward her with his hands in his pockets, like a cat to a mouse. "Me," he said simply as he neared her. The closeness of his presence was jarring, as she realized at how much he towered over her. 

  
Who was he?

  
She shifted, uncomfortable in the sudden space. He boxed her in almost and her fist tightened. Why did he keep showing up? Why did he find her at her most vulnerable moments, both alone and in her mind?

  
She wanted to ask him, but her voice had left her. She stood there, trapped in his unwavering gaze. He looked at her like he knew her.

  
"You look sad," he mumbled, and Lydia anticipated that he would touch her then, to push hair out of her face or to cup her cheek. His intensity was like a wave crashing into her, but he remained still, calm, with his hand in his pockets.

  
"I'm fine," she lied and they both knew she had. She wouldn't dare talk about Nathan with him. She didn't know him. She didn't know his name. "I just needed some air from the party."

  
He stepped away then, pulling a carton of cigarettes from his breast pocket, his eyes not leaving hers. "Have one," he said simply, holding one to her lips. 

  
A memory crept up on her as he next held out the flame. What was it about this man that was so gripping? 

  
The alcohol now had her body completely warm, settling within her, and she let the smoke fill her mouth. For the first time tonight, she felt relaxed, evading the pain if only for a second. 

  
For the first time in months, she felt looked at. She felt something when this man looked at her, if only noticed.

  
"Come home with me."

  
Her eyes shot up, startled. He was closer again, gazing down, that same devilish smirk on his lips that she remembered from the first night she saw him.

  
"What?"

  
He reached out, touching the forsaken bracelet hanging loosely on her wrist. "You don't need him. Come home with me."

  
Her eyes grew wide.

  
She would never know what possesses her to do it, but she allowed her feet to move and her hand to grip his.

  
Maybe she would blame the alcohol, even if the thrill would remain. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to comment and suggest, I'd love to know your thoughts! <3


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